The count down: t-26 days

Twenty six days, that's all I have until my life goes from the simple post-grad, penniless freeloader to the ill-prepared living-abroad, penniless laboratory slave. At least I have the luxury of working with one of the most prominent researchers on male fertility in the world. Playing with sperm all day is a magical livelihood, don't you think? Alright, so maybe I have to sugarcoat my job description when speaking to anyone 40 or older.

Early bird special/ senior ticket price member: "So what will you be doing in Israel?"

Me: "Oh, um. I will be working in a fertility lab... There's a lot of science, and I don't want to bore you with the details."

After this preliminary questioning, any further questions will debunk all respect I have just gained in this person's eyes. Oh... But, they can never resist...

Them: "Where will you be staying?"

Me: (Oh no) Well, you see, my laboratory time is actually an unpaid internship, and I don't have any money saved to pay for eight months in a foreign country, so I'm currently looking for both a part-time job and apartment near the university.

Them: "When are you leaving?"


Me: "In less than a month" There! I have hit the threshold. This person now has a protruding furrow brow. Their faith in me has shattered and replaced by concern. I went from high esteem to how-the-hell-is-this-girl-going-to-survive.

Once you've reached this point in the conversation the suggestions and advice NEVER stop. To help any future souls from hearing the same lecture countless times, I have consolidated it for you:

• Parts of Israel are dangerous. Learn where these parts are and then don't go there. 
• Israeli men bring the catcalling and the no-means-yes genre to a whole new level of creeptasticness. Beware. Because, in addition to being wildly forward with their flirtations these men are legendarily hott like, all men are required to be in the army, kind of hott.
• Taxi drivers will cheat you out of money 
• Israelis drive crazy. You won't get a ticket from running a red light or speeding, but if you jay-walk, your ass is grass. 
• The larger the hat on a man's head the more religious he is. Also, if you're a reform jew, don't be blabbing that around. Unfortunately, it is information that can create judgment amongst the religious populace.
• Always carry money on you in an 'undisclosed' location. This is for those glorious pick-pocket adventures that so many world travels have faced. 

Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but these things are the least of my worries. Priority number one: money. Money not just for somewhere to live and for food, but for an USA to Europe converter and adapter plug for appliances, international cell phone, israeli work visa, and toiletries that have to bought here (where it's cheaper). Anyone who has lived abroad understands how the smallest of things at home becomes a tragedy of epic proportions overseas.

I'm at this crossroads now, seeing how my daydream of moving to a foreign place is not going to be an easy transition. Reality is raising it's nasty head and staring me down. And so for the next 26 days, intertwined with family, friendships and relationships that need tending, holidays, and work, I need to buckle down and prepare for this journey.